Black hole

Let me fall into your black hole, then I won’t even try to escape. I’ll build a comfy shelter to share with. If it’s possible, I’ll build a home to live in. To rest your heart at the safest place and the tightest hug you’ve ever known.
Let’s just hope, would it be happen?


How’s coffee?

“How’s your feelings?”
“Hey Cha, what’s up?”
“I’m just doing something that reminds me of you.”
“What are you doing?”
“Drinking coffee”

“Cha, I’m good. But I gotta go.”
“Yeah, sure. You always go. Glad to know you’re good.”
The convo happened on my mind because I refuse to be left.

The Woman and The Man

They met at the usual meeting point they had agreed since they were still a sweet young couple without any wedding rings. In which era they are talked about, they had three children. That night, they walked through the usual path, crossed the same street to a group of night street food stalls near a train station. A set of shrimp Dim Sum and a bowl of Chinese chicken porridge would be the best choice they had made after a tough day in each other’s office. Worked in the offices along one of the busiest roads in The Capital City, exhausted was just a day-to-day condition that already felt like normal. After smiles over a silent dinner, they took the last train that programmed as an express train to the destination station in a suburb.

The train wasn’t as crowded as it usually was when the day still bright. Compared to the moon’s shift, scheduled as the last train, and not many people headed the same direction, there should not be odd to find less than ten passengers in each coach. Worn out faces were shown every night, the draw of energy-loss after a day long of working with different work-load. So did the woman and the man was looked. What made them different were they hugged each other in serenity, shut their eyes with rhythmical breath at the corner.

The officers had already recognized their usual habit, as The Woman always awoke two stations before the destination station, placed her palm on The Man’s chest to wake him up subtlely. They got ready, checked on their things to be safely placed in their bags. They started to chat as they were walking to a black shining mid-sized SUV, easily recognized as the full moon up there reflected on the hood.

Their chats mainly about the day they had gone through, about the reason why their day went good or bad. Especially that day was about the increase in the currency rate that caused typical chaos of problematic customers. The woman had to handle some customers and coordinated the problems to another division that specialized in foreign exchange. The man had to meet some of the boards in his preparation for the promotion that would be held in three days.

A broken-white house with orchid and bougainvillea on the yard had already seen from afar. The shades were created by porch’s warm lamp and bright street light nearby. They reached the outside garage, parked, then left inside the house. The living room was quiet, as their children had gone to bed at 9 pm. They open the first child’s blue-pink room, looked at the three little rascals were sleeping on a low-bedded room. Thanks to the brand new air conditioner got from a giveaway in the newly open home appliance store.

They stood on the front door and smiled, wished for the time to frozen still as they felt like everything was already perfect. They got good careers, problems solved easily, cute and well-attitude children, physically and financially healthy, cushioned facilities, and every other thing that made them feel blessed.

They took off from the first child’s room, headed to theirs. Changed clothes and cleaned up, crawled to bed and cuddled. Too tired to do more than that, they thought. They talked about everything; from imagination to the real one, from past to the future, from the government to the environment, and else. They planned on adding another kitchen, rules they would make as the children grown up, Saturday’s fried rice toppings for breakfast, which books they would like to review in learning session about the value behind characters’ traits to teach about humanity, what would they and the children do to spend the weekend at home because the payroll day still a week to go so they would save some instead of waste the money at the mall.  They talked about the short-term and the long-term like having the same disposition. They talked about the future that hadn’t come.

Their sounds slightly went down to muted as the sleepiness rose along with the Friday exhaustion. The last one who awoke would switch the light off.


Inspired by papa and mama’s routine as Jakarta’s loyal employees, dozen years ago.

Desa Kaki Gunung: Geen & Buroi

Sawah pukul enam tiga lima mendapat sinar matahari yang muncul dari balik gunung. Sinar tersebut memberikan orang-orangan sawah sebuah teman untuk diajak berbincang menikmati pagi: si bayangan besar. Buroi, ia dinamai. Geen si orang-orangan sawah sudah dua bulan berdiri dengan pegal di tengah sawah. Kadang ia mampu mengusir binatang-binatang nakal yang sekedar lewat, namun habis oleh binatang-binatang lokal tak beradab yang sengaja datang untuk menggodanya.

Continue reading “Desa Kaki Gunung: Geen & Buroi”

Matanya menghangat, larut dalam rasa takut. Seperti berjalan dalam ruang penuh kaca tipis. Salah salah bisa terinjak dan pecah, merusak kaca menjadi kepingan, juga melukai kaki hingga mengalir darah. Menyudutkan keinginan untuk memiliki harapan.

Matanya menghangat, ingin lelap dalam larutnya malam. Namun kata-kata membajak ke sudut-sudut pikirannya. Mencoba menjelaskan seonggok rasa. Orang bilang sulit deskripsikan rasa, yang lain bilang coba saja tidak akan dosa.

Maka ia coba merangkai kata. Satu demi satu. Usaha yang sia-sia, sepertinya. Karena kepala mulai berputar seiring beratnya mata, mendesak ingin terkatup. Membawanya ke alam mimpi, untuk sejenak melupakan kegundahan.

Orang bilang, tidur adalah cara terbaik untuk sekedar rehat dari segala masalah. Bukan masalahpun, rasanya kata-kata yang menggerayangi dapat sirna seketika. Maka ia coba merebahkan kepala, bersama rintik hujan yang mulai mengetuk jendela.

Matamu bermain
menatap lalu berpaling
menerawang ke awang-awang
lalu tersenyum
sedikit menahan tawa
mungkin malu
mungkin canggung

aku yang spontan ini
menyambut mereka
yang lama tidak terlihat
menyapa dengan semangat
terlalu senang
terkesan sangat dekat
padahal tidak sedekat
yang mungkin dipikirkan
tapi inilah aku,
yang sekarang

Kembali ke jalur obrolan,
pada jarak proksemik
level pertama,
matamu bermain
menatap lalu berpaling
menerawang ke awang-awang
namun tidak tersenyum
terjadi perubahan yang dirasa
atas sikapku
beberapa menit lalu

Tidak perlu mengaku
aku sudah tahu
dari sikap itu
bahwa kamu
tidak suka begitu
tidak apa
mungkin aku akan

I hope that tonight someone
could hug
as tight as
I did
to let go of
your sadness
your confusion
toward life
while I’m
hugging myself
as tight as
I could
and cry overnight
planning about the talk

let’s meet
next week
to talk that over
you can choose
the day and time
I choose the place

Tentang pagi dan mereka yang memulai hari

Cuaca memang sedang dingin, ditambah ia yang belum mengisi perut kecuali dua butir telur rebus sejak kemarin pagi, membuat pembakaran menjadi energi tidak mampu menghangatkan si pemilik tubuh. Tiga lapis pakaian dikenakan, namun gerutu kedinginan tidak lepas dari pikirannya. Tidak suka melontarkan gerutuan,” ujarnya di suatu waktu. “Tidak ada guna, tidak ada yang dengar juga, jadi untuk apa dikatakan?” Continue reading “Tentang pagi dan mereka yang memulai hari”