Unlike you who wished to meet your copy, I prayed to God to meet someone like you. After what happened, after what you did, after all the things I have realized about us, I wanted to make things right.
I wanted to be close to someone who understands, the one who listens, who tries so hard not to judge publicly, who puts honesty and sincerity as priority, who strives for harmony, who cares deeply, who’s able to keep me on the ground while I’m flying high with my head, who trusts me to help, whom I could give my attention and everything needed to thrive together, who keeps the manner. Someone who is just like you, or as one of our friend said: “Someone who has characteristic and quality I desired and by chance, is like you.”
Fortunately, If I trace back from the period of our cold and formal separation until now, God has granted my prayer. I don’t have to look far for that person, I don’t even have to look. He that has been given to me is the same person we talked about how did I get rid of feelings that had got in me for years. At some point, I did afraid of welcoming back the feeling you have helped me erasing. But no. Because he seems just like you, he also doesn’t see me the way I wanted you to see me or the way I wanted him to see me years ago. I do treat him the way I did treat you, but I don’t give the same feeling as I gave to you, or I gave to him years ago. I want to treat him right, respecting by simply embrace his presence for he is.
The plus point of this person is we have known each other for years, unlike us who know each other for less than two years. I could tell anything without getting awkward and show my vulnerable side without worrying he would left. Sometimes, if I said that I found my mirror in you, this person feels like half of my soul. If you understood my chaotic mind, he translates it so that anyone could understand too.
Dear You, thank you that you came and left. Thank you I learned a lot. Thank you for making me understand my self like never before. I thought to lose you was like losing my half-self, but it turns out not that significant compared to IF I lose this person.
I don’t ask anything from him, I’m not waiting for anyone anymore, I don’t beg people to stay. If they want to stay, please stay. If they want to leave, like you, please leave. Losing is tiring and aching, but I know my worth and it’d be your loss.
Once again, thank you for the lessons you gave. Shizz I’m in tears.
Monday, June 3rd 2019/Monday, Ramadan 29th 1440
On Commuter Line from Sudirman to Depok Station, just got back from Bandung to Jakarta. My chest felt tight, greater area of Bandung has always had you in its every corner.